I had the procedure at The Royal Orthopaedic Hospital, and
was luckily the first person on the doctor’s list. The doctor who was going to
do the procedure was Indian, and apparently, upon seeing I had brown skin, made
the assumption I didn’t know a word of English. Clearly, my British accent wasn’t
posh enough for him (thanks for that, Hounslow), and no matter how often I told him I was from London, he
relentlessly carried on speaking in Hindi. He did an especially bad job of attempting
to explain the procedure to me – to the point that I was actually looking forward to being put under anaesthesia.
Was this his evil-genius plan all along? Bombard me with Hindi so I look
forward to the procedure? I may never know, but it sure did work!
Waking up from anaesthesia is one of the strangest feelings
ever. It’s like waking up from an unsatisfying sleep – all groggy and
disorientated – multiplied by about x30, and so naturally, Faisal thought this
was the perfect time to start taking
pictures and recording videos of me. He actually does this quite often – he has
pictures of me hunched over a toilet seat in the middle of a vomit and also at
the hospital with needles stuck in my arms. Very mature for a grown man (!)
I had to get over the
effects of the anaesthesia before I was allowed to go home, and so the rest of
the time in the hospital was spent recovering, during which time I became a bit
of a diva (to hear Faisal tell it). I lay in bed doing nothing myself –I crossed
my arms and refused to walk and so was wheeled around everywhere, Faisal fed
me, and when he refused to tie my shoe laces for me so that I could wake up a little
and get home quicker, my older brother did them (whilst I smiled smugly at Faisal).
When I did arrive home, Mum had made my favourite meal for dinner, my younger
brother topped up my plate and glass whenever I made an attempt to move and my
older brother brought down blankets and pillows for me so I didn’t have to
climb the stairs. Not at all diva-like behaviour if you ask me...
Lessons of the day:
- If the time and manner is appropriate – say what’s on your
mind and ask for what you want. I’m pretty sure if I had clearly told my Indian
friend I would prefer if he explain the procedure to me in English, he wouldn’t
have minded at all. He’s a doctor working in the UK for god’s sake, I’m sure he
knew English just as well as I did.
- When going into a potentially embarrassing situation, confiscate
each and every phone which has a user prone to taking embarrassing pictures of
you. Hide it, and hide it well.
